FORLOLZ
by PurgedMemories
Summary: 10 people are chosen to compete in the greatest reality show ever conceived. Their only goal is to survive. And to win lavish heaps of pricey prizes. Crack with a plot. Multiple Crossover.
1. The Big Setup

**Disclaimer of DOOM! : This pathetic shadow of an overly evolved ape purports that under severe and rather spiky pain of death that he does not own any of the aforementioned material and will not and cannot make any profits from aforementioned aforementioned material. **

**PS: Lawyers of DOOM, please call off your demon dogs, I would like to leave my room.**

The Fortuitous Overlord Rescues the Large Omniverse at Last... Zwhammo!

(FORLOLZ)

I

+1, or as he was known to the more enlightened omnipotent beings of the Multi-verse, the SUPreme and AWEsome designer of the rad and groovy thing known as existence focused his limitless power on the task at hand.

"Ninety eight, ninety nine, one hundr-" the ball; which seemed to possess a malicious consciousness all of its own, lost it's momentum and missed the end of the paddle by a mere fraction of a nanometer.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The supreme being dropped to his knees and sobbed into the now tear stained wooden paddle ball, um, paddle that had been the bane of his existence for some past innumerable eons. "Why do you always forsake me?!" Seething with anger he stood, assumed the position and hurdled the sacrilegious object out into the void of reality.

After wiping the tears from his eyes, the great, so very great, +1 collapsed back into the beanbag of probability and watched as his greatest nemesis sailed off into the infinite empyrean.

By Zeus' beard he was bored! It had been a long infinity and he had run out of things to do to pass the time about the time when complex life had first been birthed in the first material universe. Funny thing that, it was amazing what kind of things will grown out of discarded 36 trillion year old General Tao's chicken with secret ingredient inside (hint: it's salt and a crap load of MSG). Since then those pathetic little bacterium had provided a good minute or two of entertainment, or the equivalent of cutting out all the bad bits of _Jersey Shore_ and then editing the rest of it into a montage to sounds of a diabetic sumo wrestler squashing a half inflated beach ball filled with burning moths.

"Aw that brings back good memories," +1 sighed, remembering the time the people of one planet had decided to murder the stuffing out of each other for the sake of religion. Maybe it was time to turn his attention back to the planes of not so oblivion and meddle.

"Meddle, meddle meddle!" he squealed as the unimaginable powers of his endless creative imagination churned to create the ultimate Z-grade cross over bonanza festival.

It would be epic, spanning billions of worlds and all realized existences. It would have love, romance, epic battles, hearty healthy meals and crack like dialog. A story to last for all time with so many twists it would make a gender bending fanfiction story look like oatmeal. On toast.

All he would have to do would be to will it and it would be so.

"NaaaaaHH!" the most powerful person blew a rather wet raspberry and summoned another paddle ball into his hand.

Little did he know (or did he?!) his mere thoughts brought the great story into existence. But even if he did, which he did, he once again had more important things on his mind.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten..."

The Overlord, otherwise known to the more or less omnipotent beings of the universes as The Overlord struggled to keep from destroying a huge chunk of his Abyssal tower in rage as the tiny rubber ball missed the the garishly painted paddle by seemingly less than a fraction of an eighth of a nanometer. With a silent yet menacing growl he stood and threw the accursed object of his misery out a nearby window and into a pool of nearby super-lava. The super-lava, being super hot and super molteny instantly burned the offending toy to ashes and then stomped on those ashes and turned them to dust.

By Zeus' pubes he was bored! The endless years of being confined to the Infernal Abyss had taken its toll on the _"Exploder of Melvin Underbelly's"_ nerves and he was this close, thiiiisss close to finally snapping. He hadn't talked to anyone in years, but since he never talked to begin with this wasn't that much of a problem. However he did miss other people talking and the wraiths that inhabited his underworld domain weren't that skilled of conversationalists.

For the millionth time he cursed Gnarl for luring him into this wretched place and that bastard Jester for leaving him here. Sighing wearily he rested his Arcanium encased head on his hand and stared off into space, but even that had lost its charm.

He had to get out of here, he was slowly going crazy and it wasn't the slimy green half teakettle half caterpillar that was currently chewing on a sack of rusty syringes upturned in the corner that gave him this impression. Instead he had found himself missing ice cream and sheepies, totally unacceptable behavior for an evil Overlord such as himself.

Suddenly in an earsplitting sound that deafened the very ears of the Infernal Abyss screamed through his throne room and a violet tear in the very fabric of reality presented itself to the awestruck dark knight. Terrified the teakettle caterpillar scuttled away towards the throne but was messily squished as the Overlord jumped to his feet, a thought bubble appearing above his head that read. **_WTF IS THAT!_**

Not taking time to consider the consequences of his actions or whether or not he had his towel, the great and mighty _Lord of Lust and Lechery_ and the dreaded _Persecutor of Pumpkins _jumped through the portal and into the unknown.

The portal closed quickly behind him, sealing the dimensional bridge off and leaving the now empty throne room deathly quiet, the only sound of a small wooden paddle suddenly materializing and hitting the floor.

The Tyrant stomped off to his final destiny.

Out in the war torn ruins of a once grand city a huge dark skinned man fought off a horde of reptilian monsters with the help of a bunch of steroid boosted freaks of nature. One got to close and he literally bisected the creature with the spinning edge of his chainsaw like weapon.

"Just another smear on the Cole train baby!" he exclaimed and tossed a grenade into a thick group of the approaching creatures.

Suddenly the world seemed to tilt and spin with a flash of white light he was gone. Turning to another, one of his companion's a huge man with a soul patch and a bandanna turned to the small blonde woman next to him.

"Durrrrrr, where did our token black guy go?"

"I DON"T KNOW! WHY ARE WE SO ANGRY!?"

"GAGARRRRRH!"

The Brute had been summoned forth to his destiny.

Deep in the woods, in a tiny cabin a chiseled stud of a man fought valiantly against the forces of darkness that had systematically turned and corrupted his friends one by one. Now fighting the seemingly unstoppable demons with nothing but his wits and a healthy dose of swarm his was kicking ass and not afraid to throw in a few instant classic one liners.

He was currently wrestling with one of the abominations and was somehow winning. Throwing his opponent to the ground he planted one foot on her throat and pointed his weapon of choice, a twelve-gauge, double-barreled Remington at her head.

"Hey ugly, you know the difference between you and me?" the bloodied hero asked nonchalantly.

"I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOULLL!" the demon possessed college student snarled and bucked wildly under his iron restraint.

"I'm the guy with the gun." Letting the awesome power of his verbal riposte overwhelm his undead opponent's defenses he let loose with both barrels, obliterating his foe's ugly mug. "And I thought you were ugly before!"

The last of his mortal enemies defeated, S-Mart employee of the month for _four_ consecutive months running, rested his glorious weapon over his shoulder and struck a heroic pose.

All of a sudden a mysterious glow appeared in the cabin's destroyed doorway. Cautiously the hero approached the shimmering portal and disappeared.

"Schwick!" That unique sound was something that couldn't be reproduced by anything else. It was only made when a razor sharp Damascus steel forged Katana clove cleanly through the rotting neck of the recently deceased. The follow on sounds were not nearly as interesting as that, the thump and mushy sound of a squishy head impacting on the sidewalk was more akin to a splattered watermelon.

Saeko Busujima, high school senior and ass kicking sword fighter continued to pass her nigh magical katana through the hordes of slow moving undead walkers that had been plaguing her and her friends for the past couple of weeks.

The others in her group provided covering fire for the athletic creator of zombie bits as she hacked and slashed the slowly dwindling horde.

Sensing an attack from behind, Saeko flipped over the final attacker's shoulders with a flash of yellow panties unintentionally flashing the zombie beneath her. With a flash of red mist and brain matter the undead perverts head literally exploded and coated her white tight fitting school uniform with a splatter of blood and brain matter.

"Ugh!" she sneered with disgust and with the last of the undead prowlers dispatched she wasted no time in removing the filth coated garment. She was aware of the nosebleeds of her male companions as they ogled her well built chest, but she pointedly ignored them. Inside though she was amused at their lack of control.

Carefully wiping the blackish blood from her silver blade on the back of a zombified candy-stripers not so crisp uniform. Ignoring the cries of her bothersome "friends" she sheathed her weapon and joined the others in looting the dead dead corpses.

"Hey look this guy has food!" The cry of the groups resident sharp shooter and fat joke butt. Immediately the remaining members of the group were crawling and fighting each other for the chocolate candy bars that had been lining the pockets of an immensely obese zombie. Saeko closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

The past few weeks had been particularity hard for the group of survivors from Fujimi High School. As the weeks went by they were finding it harder and harder to locate food, as the supermarkets and stores were raided clean one by one and all the fresh food went bad. As it was they were hungry, angry and getting incredibly close to turning on each other. Hunger did interesting things to a person and even she found her cold mask slipping more frequently now days.

A sudden shimmering in her peripheral vision and the busty violet haired lass' ever alert eyes turned to behold perhaps the strangest thing she had ever seen. A large bluish, shimmering _thing _floated not 1 meter away. As of yet none of the others had noticed, too busy gorging themselves on a soggy packet of airline peanuts they had found nearby.

Saeko reached hesitantly out towards the strange apparition, her finger tips moved across the liquid like surface and sent ripple across the rest of the gleaming surface. It was so weird, like something out of one of those science fiction movies Kohta would always go on and on about.

"What is that?" a stuck up voice seemed to bore into her skull as someone leaned against her. It was the purported "brains" group, straight A+ student and all around pain in the ass rich girl, Saya Takagi. The pink haired girl adjusted her prudish looking glasses and reached over the taller girls shoulder and poked at the thing like a crazed scientist pokin' a squirming frog.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" A panicky voice split the air with such loud volume that it caused Saya to jump, trip and fall knocking herself and Saeko into the glowing portal.

Takashi and company looked on in confusion at the disappearance of the two women. Rei, happy that her rivals for her Takashi kun's affections were gone, cackled madly while, the fatty fat mcfatterson Kohta merely looked on with horror.

"I'm still hungry!"

The femme fatale/ geeky chick that is hot when she takes off her glasses in the second act had arrived.

The courtroom held a sort of anxious air to it as the plaintiffs rose for their final verdict. It had been a long trial, almost 2 years, what with all the repeals, breaks and postponements and everyone was anxious for what was to happen next. Outside the vast hordes of media, interested in the most sensational news story of the century were worked into a veritable feeding frenzy. Thousands of hours of work on behalf of the prosecutor and the defense had finally culminated in the moment and whatever the judges decision it would go down in the history books for all time.

The Judge, the cybernetic right hand of Emperor Arnold Schwarzenegger slammed his gavel down to restore order in the court. The bailiff, a rather large fly headed creature cleared his throat. "All rise for the honorable Judge Right hand of the Emperor's verdict." Everyone in the courtroom rose and if one listened they could hear a pin drop, which several actually did, muffled curses as the jury attempted to put them back in their now live grenades.

"Bizzarro Gandalf Grey in light of your heinous crime, one count of being classified as BIG PiMpin' I have found you guilty and hereby sentence you to death by smothering. May Bizzarro God have mercy on you." The Great Grey Pimpin, as he was known to his fans, hoes and clients all around the galaxy, merely smirked, lifted up his triple strength diamond handcuffs and flipped him the bird.

"Your mother sends your regards! Best handy J I ever got!" the roguishly bearded man replied with a smirk. The judge, infuriated at this show of insolence attempted to attack the smiling bastard but was restrained by the bailiff. Eventually everything got calmed down and the mighty hand managed to regain his poise.

Adjusting his white powdered wig he turned to the other plaintiff in the room. "And as for you, Bizzarro Demon Sex Bomb for your 165 counts of 1st degree murder, 201 counts of battery, 27 counts of indecent exposure in public and 1 count of littering I sentence you too... 37 hours of community service!"

Duh, duuh duuuuuuh!

Hearing this an incredibly blue haired horned woman broke down in tears, falling to her knees and cursing the gods below for her horrible luck.

"But seeing just how just damn drop dead sexy you are I'm going to waive those charges and award you 500 Bizzarro Points instead." The hand judge banged his gavel once and proceeded to crawl out of the room, his stately hand tailored judge's robes trailing behind him.

Bizzarro Kurumu Kurono, a succubus by birth, a prude by nature and an accountant by choice wiped the tears from her eyes and adjusted her skirt.

_'Pervert!'_ she sniffed and gathered her papers from the desk in front of her, looking disgustedly at the smirking grinning lasciviously at her covered but obviously noticeable sweater covered love melons. "I hope your enjoying the view, give you something to remember when you hang you filth!"

If anything Bizzarro Gandalf's grin stretched even larger and his hand snaked slowly but stealthily up and up.

"HONK HONK! Tpasshwang!" Which is the sound of a woman being violated and two person's of questionable sanity being transported away to a foreign place.

The well, weird people, had come about for some reason.

Somewhere at some time, a clown snorted cocaine off a filth encrusted alley street. "Chicka-chick-yeaaahh!"

Then he disappeared. Nobody cared.

The stage was set and what would come of it who knew? It was far beyond the scope of the gods to foresee such a thing. But that wouldn't really matter now would it after all this kind of thing wasn't really in their jurisdiction. Also there was two other unlikely people scooped up but the author had gotten lazy at this point and just decided to introduce them in the next chapter.

A/N: So for anyone who was following me from Dissecting the dark, yes I know this fic is completely different from that latter story. It's not meant to be taken seriously at all. I always wanted to publish a crack fic and here it is. Oh and this is not really a Naruto story, it only has one character from there, mainly listed it as such just to generate hits. I know, incredibly devious of me.

This is my first time attempting humor of any kind, so yeah bear with me, it's probably gonna be tough going for a while.

PM

Crossover Overload-

Highschool of the Deadpanned

The Witcher

Naruto

Rosario + Vampire

(BIZZARRO) LOTR

Evil Dead

Gears of War

Overlord

?CLOWN?


	2. Team One Setup Formation

**Disclaimer of DOOM! : This pathetic shadow of an overly evolved ape purports that under severe and rather spiky pain of death that he does not own any of the aforementioned material and will not and cannot make any profits from aforementioned aforementioned material. **

**PS: Lawyers of DOOM, please call off your demon dogs, I would like to leave my room.**

The Fortuitous Overlord Rescues the Large Omniverse at Last... Zwhammo!

(FORLOLZ)

II

**What the hell?!**The thought box appeared over The Overlords fuzzy head, his arcanium helmet still ringing from the impact that it had sustained. Looking around the Abyssal Lord rubbed some of the fuzz out of his eyes and surveyed his surroundings.

**Eh White**_._ The _Wench Bane_ spoke a relativity simple statement for a simple observation. The room was white, glaringly so that it actually hurt the dark loving conqueror.

"Urrrgh! Feels like I've been ran down by a Bur'surker!" A low melodious baritone voice reached his ears and he found himself faced with possibly the largest man besides himself that he had ever seen! From where the other man was slouched against the far wall, of what was increasingly becoming an obviously enclosed room, he could see that they were about the same height with the other man a few inches taller. Furthermore the dark skinned man wore some of the strangest outfits he had ever seen, the predominant symbol being that of a gigantic cog and skull stretched tight across the dudes gigantic chest. "What the hell are you supposed to be? Some kinda elf lord or something?" The man's frank question caught him by surprise and he tried to regain his composure.

**Excuse me?**He thought bubbled.

"Ahhhhhh! What the fuck is that!" The big man screamed in an uncharacteristically high falsetto voice. The Overlord followed the other guy's pointed finger and found a large white bubble floating about an half a meter over his head, the words **What the fuck is that!?** transcribed the in real time as they popped into his mind and should of come out of his mouth.

"I don't fucking know man but it's scaring the shit outta me! Stop doing that!"

**I can't! Don't you think I would stop doing it if I could! **_**Sheepbrained idiot.**_

"What the fuck did you call me Pointy?" At this point the two of them were inches away from each other and it was obvious a fight was going to break out at any moment. The Overlord checked his mana reserves and was happy to find that he was still on _full_, thought it was quite worrying that he couldn't feel the minions or the Tower heart any longer. Not that he would be any kind of pushover without those things but it never hurt to have an ace in the hole.

**I didn't say anything! **_**This guy is denser than a drowning minion.**_The other man pushed at him with two huge arms, surprising him again with his strength.

"Now listen here freakin renaissance fair fucker, no one calls Augustus Cole a sheepbrained anything and comes away with the same 'mount of teeth."

_**What the hell? How did he know what I thought, unless...**_a quick look confirmed his theory, his thoughts were being broadcast-ed just as clearly as his speech, though it was bold and italic, instead of just the latter. _**Fuck.**_** Look, uh, Mr. Cole, I'm sorry if I jumped the crossbow on that one, but I think were both out of our element. So let's just call it even alright?**

The man tensed for a second but then relaxed, apparently satisfied with the Overlords attempt at placation. The _Ravager of Rollie_ meanwhile tried his hardest to not project what he was thinking and found to his delight that if he thought quietly enough his thought bubble remained blank.

Okay, yeah we'll stick with that.

"You bastard I'll kill YOU!" A burst of painfully bright colored light then someone screamed and both the men jumped and turned to the newcomer, a strange looking blue haired woman who looked back and forth confusedly in a rather humorous manner. "Where are you you pervert!"

"Woah woah, lady calm down. There's no perverts here, just us."

**Speak for yourself ;) **The Overlord tweeted, obviously ogling the hell out of the newcomer. Roaring in rage the horned chick flew at the armored man, large wings sprouting from her back and hands elongating into wicked looking claws.

Demonically sharpened claws met magically forged armor and bounced off with a clang, leaving a series of deep slashes across the overlords protected neck. Not wasting any time he grabbed his assailant in a bear hug, her smaller form fighting furiously to gut him like a pig. Smirking at the futile nature of her assault he posted

**What's the matter girlie feeling a little **_**hornnn-yy!?**_He chuckled at his own little play on words, but it turned to a horrified gurgle as her flailing legs found the one unprotected place on his impenetrable super strong armor.

Cole backed away from the obviously crazy lady as the strange knight guy collapsed to the ground in a crumpled heap.

"Hey big guy, you got a problem too?" She asked and he meekly shook his head and sheltered his vulnerable man bits. The former Gear was brave, but not that stupidly courageous.

"Hey baby, just cool you' self down. There ain't no need for any sort of uh, violence now." he raised in hands for what he would hope would be interpreted as a peaceful manner.

The dangerous demon merely hmphed and moved the hair out of her eyes. "Okay Mr. Big, but I'm watching you." she accentuated her threat by kicking the still writhing knight guy in the head.

"Yeah, sure jeesh sista." he rubbed his head at the sudden awkwardness. "So, my names Augustus Cole, but people just call me Cole. And you..." he held up his hand and left it hanging, hoping for her to fill in the blank.

"Kurumu Kurono." she grudgingly offered and then sank back into silence, which was the last thing he wanted.

"So um, like what're you? Some kinda bat-girl or something?" A arched eye-brow told him to be very careful with what he said next.

"A what?" The acid was dripping from her mouth and burning a hole through the floor.

"Um you know, like a bat-girl or something, mutant thing..." We would never find out if he was able to dig himself out of the imminent ball sacking he was about to receive as the earth shook, lights flickered and two more people suddenly appeared from nowhere to somewhere, or here more specifically.

"Where the hel..." the sword wielding purple haired woman never had a chance to finish her sentence, Cole was already sick of hearing that question.

"Nobody knows, I'm Cole, this is Kurumu and we don't know who the crying guy down there is."

The swords-woman blinked once and then tentatively nodded her head. "Okay, well I'm Saeko Busujima and uh pleased to meet you, Cole right?"

'_Well she's certainly taking this all pretty well.'_ he mused, "And what about you?"

The other new arrival, a white haired pale man with creepy/dreamy amber eyes and dressed like some kinda medieval BSDM hunter, tossed his glorious mane dashingly. "Geralt of Rivia." He complemented the patented head toss with another classic, the extreme eye squinch and head nod of angst.

The two women swooned and fell to the ground, another victim of BPBS (listed in the Kishimoto Medical dictionary as Brooding Pretty Boy Syndrome.) Cole merely rubbed his head in confusion.

"Gurult?"

"No, Geralt."

"Oh, you mean Jurult?"

"No! It's Geralt, Ger-alt."

"Gerelt."

"No you idiot! Geralt, Geralt, GERALT!"

**Gerbil? **The now recovered Overlord speech wrote.

"ARGGGHGAAAAA! DIIIEEEEEEE!" The crazed albino Fabio drew both his very, very shiny swords and charged, intent on cutting the dumb duo down into bite sized chunks.

"Knighty you thinking what I'm thinking?" Cole asked as the world slowed down by leaps and bounds and the two warriors souls intertwined in beautiful synchronization.

**Umm, probably not, I was thinking more something like...this.**Flames of crimson exploded out from the Overlords hand as he channeled his mana into a flamethrower attack. A few seconds later a singed and blackened Witcher fell to the ground crispily. Cole sighed.

"I was going to say we try and calm his white ass down."

**My bad. **The two red pools of light that shone eerily from inside the Evil Overlords helmet turned up into a happy look.

Geralt, his wounds already rapidly healing thanks to his advanced mutant physiology, gripped his monster mutilating swords and prepared for action.

"Congratulations contestants on being chosen for the +1 reality competition extravaganza!" A booming voice spoke out, seemingly coming from everywhere at once.

"Wha..?" Kurumu started to ask but was shushed by everyone else as the convenient explanation continued.

"You have been selected based on a specific set of, erhm, criteria. You will be competing with another group for the best most awesome prize in existence." The voice turned utterly demonic. "YOUR LIVES! MAHAHAHAWAHAHAHA!"

"What?" Saeko deadpanned as everyone showed various levels of sweat dropping.

All of a sudden, the walls which had been opaque and blindingly white turned to glass and the group was treated to a rather pretty view of what looked like verdant rolling hills, replete with tiny hamlets and herds of white sheepies.

The Overlord snarled and tightened his fist at the sight of his ancient enemies. The evil voice over continued. As they floated high over the landscape below it became readily apparent that nothing here was as it had seemed.

"Welcome to the world of Kreed, a culmination of pretty much every good thing about fantasy worlds and every single bad thing as well. Your task is to survive the coming trials and reach the final destination and accomplish your epic tasks."

"That didn't tell us anything we need." Saeko moaned and Cole bobbed his head in agreement.

"Well that brings us to your first task. Survive the 500 meter fall to the rock like ground below. Have fun."

"Wha' da fuck does he mean by fall?" The Cole-miester questioned.

"Well it's obvious this is all a crazy dream and when I wake up I'm going to be back in my apartment laughing as that bastard Gandalf is slowly disemboweled live on TV."

**Heh, that doesn't sound half bad. **The _Bouncer of Beauties_ slid up behind the demoness like butter on a griddle and tried to pull the ole' yawn, stretch and grope routine.

The young succubus leisurely backhanded the armored fool into the see through wall and spoke up. "Yah, I was wondering the same thing. Kinda cryptic wasn't he."

Well as it was the announcer wasn't being that mysterious as the floor promptly vanished; leaving nothing but air between the strange group and the long hard fall below.

"OHH FUUUUUUUCK!"

A/N Hello, anyone still listening? No, well thats never stopped me from talking to myself before so.

Yeah that one was shorter but that's okay, I'll leave the longer chapters for later after the second group is intro'ed.

Adios muy compadres, du bist wunderbar lesen.

PM


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